Traveling alone is great.
However, sometimes you may feel lonely and miss your friends, family or mummy. I have noticed that it normally happens when you are tired or a bit sick.
Those situations can make it hard when you are totally alone in another country. But you just need to take a break for a few days, and you will be fine.
Which is called an unhealthy attachment.
You stick with someone just to not be alone. Even if that person is bad for you. You tolerate things you shouldn’t.
Maybe you pretend that it’s not important. But it has a destructive effect in the long term.
Of course, it doesn’t only happen traveling. It is just that this is a place for travelers 🙂
Effects Of An Unhealthy Attachment
Those negative people can make you believe that it’s normal to be mistreated and you don’t give it the importance that it really has.
Little by little, they make you feel worse and worse.
It’s a long process, and you can make a mistake to let it happen. Until one day you feel like shit.
Your self-esteem is on the floor and you don’t realize how that happened.
It’s like the frog in a pan. If you put the frog in hot water, it jumps.
But if you put it in cold water and you increase the temperature slowly the frog doesn’t notice it until is too late… and dies.
For humans, it’s the same. We may ignore certain things to find ourselves later in a big trouble. You will not die physically but you will die mentally.
In my case, I hadn’t been in this kind of relationship when I was living in my country. But it happened to me a few times traveling alone.
One thing that propitious this situation is that you don’t have your best friends and family next to you.
It’s a good idea to keep in touch –once in a while– with your family and friends. I didn’t.
Without an inner circle, you may feel insulated and that kind of “bad” people take advantage of it.
When it happened to me I felt like the frog. Slowly, the relationship went down the hill. And I didn’t see it or didn’t want to see it.
I honestly ignored all the signs and believe me they were huge.
Until one day I realized that I was in deep shit. At that point, it was extremely hard for me to leave the relationship.
It suffered a lot during the process. Also, the other person wanted to stay with me. They don’t let you go easily.
They are like parasites. They need a host to survive. In this case, they mistreat someone to feel good about themselves. It’s their food.
So they use all their mental trick to make you feel guilty if you leave them. They behave well for a while, but soon they come back to be their true selves.
Breaking News: People don’t change.
Why Does This Happen?
I understand that it happens when you feel down, or you have a lack of self-esteem.
Traveling alone around some countries requires mental strength.
Especially if you do it for a long period of time. At some point, you may feel weak or unsure about yourself.
What To Do?
The best option is to cut an unhealthy attachment as soon as possible. Any sign of lack of respect from another part is a clear proof that it’s not a healthy relationship.
You can warn them one time that you will not tolerate that kind of behavior. If they do it again don’t think twice and go your own way.
I know, it’s easier to say it than doing it. Tell me about it.
Make a Plan
The best option is to prepare an alternative plan/route alone or with someone else.
Make sure the “bad” person doesn’t know anything and that they can’t come with you –that person has already a ticket to go somewhere else or another arrangement.
When the time comes you should make a fast move. Don’t let them the opportunity to talk with you and change your mind.
Say goodbye and leave.